Saturday, May 18, 2013

Mother's Day Joy

Mother's Day is often a bittersweet day for me.
Sweet because of my precious daughter, Maddie...
Maddie is so full of life and imagination and energy..oh to have even an ounce of her energy! She loves art and animals, especially dolphins and zebras. She has a very loving heart and cares about even the smalled creature. She is as smart as a whip...I often say that she is too smart for my good! And Maddie has never met a stranger who doesn't instantly become her new best friend. Having the blessing of being her Mother is beyond words. She is the reason my Mother's Days will forever be joyous reminders of all that God has entrusted to me.
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Mother's Day, however, also has a bitter note for me.
It is a reminder of the son I love dearly and but am not raising. Until Maddie was born Mother's Day, more than any other, tugged at my heartstrings and would be the most likely day to bring tears to my eyes. My son means the world to me and my heart has always ached for him. He was an unexpected blessing for which I was not prepared at the time. Thankfully, God already had a plan for my son long before I did. Instead of simply being a blessing to me, my son was God's blessing to another family as well. Even as my strength faltered at the time of the adoption, I could see that it was  God's will and the right thing to do for my son. Looking back, though my heart aches, I can see the amazing grace and abundant love that God provided (and provides now) through our adoption story.
Some years ago my son's family gave me a CD by Christian artist Mark Schultz. On this particular CD was a song that Mark Schultz wrote for his Birthmother ("Everything To Me"), as he had been adopted at 2 weens old. Now you have to understand one thing here...I got the CD on a visit to see my son and his family in San Angelo which is about 3 hours from home. There was not a dry eye the whole car ride home! Even to this day I rarely listen to the song because it almost always makes me cry, not because of sadness but because it is how I hope my son feels about his own adoption. Although I don't listen to this particular song much, I listend to the CD several times over the years. The music eventually spurred me to listen to other Christian artists and in many respects was the spark of a revival in my heart and spiritual life.
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Fast forward to 2013, three days before Mother's Day when my father announces that he heard on the radio that Mark Schultz would be playing in a little town about 20 miles from home and asks if my Mother and I would like to go...of course we would! (I should also mention that she too was given a copy of the CD with the adoption song during the same visit I was)...
Saturday night comes, concert time! YAY! So excited!!! The concert was to benefit the local Crisis Pregnancy Center and I was almost a little nervous that he would play the adoption song. I really wasn't sure I could handle that, but I would not have missed the opportunity to see Mark Schultz play live for anything! The concert was amazing and he actually didn't play the adoption song. I cried, tears of joy and release, and I sang along and I loved every minute! The concert alone was an amazing Mothers Day gift, but what happened after was icing on the cake.
Once the concert ended they announced that those with VIP tickets could make their way backstage to meet Mark Schultz. Well seeing that we didn't even know about the concert until 3 days earlier we didn't have VIP tickets.. bummer.  BUT... I had a moment of bravery (or being star struck, take your pick) and stopped the man who was the MC for the night. I told him my story and about the song/CD that my son's family had given me. I asked if there was any way for me too meet Mark Schultz. And you know what...he made it happen!!!!! :) :)
We snuck backstage when things calmed down a bit and the crowds weren't so big. I was able to meet Mark Schultz and told him my story (and got a hug). :)  We snapped a picture and then off we went...but, oh man...I was walking on clouds when we left! Its kind of ironic in a way -- You might think that such a clear reminder of the son I am not with daily would make me sadder on Mother's Day. In reality, meeting Mark Schultz seemed to take away some of the sting and Mother's Day was definitely a sweeter celebration this year. 

(Me and Mark Schultz)
May 11, 2013